Parenting happens best on a Thursday: Tip #4

Here we go again.

Tip #4  Work hard to create good memories.

Now, this one may seem like common sense, but I tell you.  Make this a conscious priority.  We plan special trips.  We create family traditions. Lisa decorates the house for different seasons and holidays.  We try to have them all experience new and different things.  Lisa and I have always worked hard to try and give the kids good memories of their childhood.  When it's all said and done, I really hope that they can all look back  and say that this was true.   Here is a teeny-tiny, itsy bitsy glimpse into some of my favorite family memories over the years (and I am excluding Disney shots).

Be intentional with your family.

 

Sometimes you just fail as a dad...but then you move on.

Sometimes you just fail as a father.  It happens, and it hurts.  It happened to me this weekend.   I felt like a big loser dad Saturday night and that I had caused my boys some heartache and failed to protect them from a little embarrassment.  And I hate it when that happens.

Our boys’ Cub Scout Blue and Gold Banquet was Saturday night, and I was kind of looking forward to it.  It would’ve been the last event for them as Cub Scouts, ending six years with the (mostly) same group of boys.  We had decided a few weeks ago not to move on to Boy Scouts.  We went back and forth with it, as it is a great program for boys, but finally decided not to participate.   I thought the Blue and Gold Banquet was going to be a fitting ending celebration for their hard work, where they would get their Webelos Badge and Arrow of Light and triumphantly close out this segment of their life. 

Things sometimes just do not turn out like you want them to.

The dinner was first and then the awards ceremony started.   The Arrow of Light Ceremony (which is almost like the highpoint of Cub Scouts) was the first thing up and this is what my boys have been waiting for.   They had worked to complete all the requirements, learning Boy Scout stuff, visiting and camping with a Boy Scout troop, and done all the other things they needed.   One boy was called up, then the next and then a third.  And then it started, without my guys.   They just looked at me across the table like, what is happening, Dad?  Why aren’t we up there? There was such a hurt look in their eyes.  It was awful.  I kept thinking, did I not fill something out that I was supposed to?  Did we miss a requirement?

Then they did awards for those earning badges and after Bobcat, Bear, Wolf and other awards were given out, someone said something about how Webelos badges had already been given out.  And I thought, really?  My boys haven’t received their Webelos badges.  All I could think about was maybe they had been given out at a Pack meeting in January while we were on vacation, and then we just hadn’t gotten them yet.

There was finally a Bridging Over ceremony for those Webelos moving on to Boy Scouts, which were all the Webelos in attendance that night except for my guys.  It was a wonderful time for those boys moving to Boy Scouts and I was very excited for those guys, but I had not realized before just how uncomfortable this night is to any boy who successfully made it through Cub Scouts, but decided to not move on.  To me, it was almost like a feeling of being ignored because you did not choose to go that route.  One thing I did appreciate was that their Den Leader, after the Bridging Over was completed, had Nicholas and Patrick stand as well and said that even though this was not part of the ceremony, he was thankful for the years he worked with all the boys.

So, what should have been a grand celebration of a successful Cub Scout journey was a disappointment.  It was like going to your graduation with high expectations, and then your name not even being called out. 

When we went home that night, I immediately checked  the scouting system where we record accomplishments and sure enough, even though I had thought before that I had filled everything in for the Arrow of Light, several requirements were blank.  My fault.  Again, big loser dad label applied.  I would have done anything to have gone back in time and double checked that system again, or even have decided not to have attended the banquet at all, and ended Cub Scouts with good memories.  My “I’m sorry” to them just didn’t seem to cut it.

So, the boys’ Cub Scout careers ended not with a bang, but with an awkward whimper.   I need to track down their Webelos badges and then work out my own Arrow of Light Ceremony, which will probably be figuring out how to get the Arrow of Lights and just handing it over to them with a “congratulations” (I filled in the blanks in that scout tracking system so it should now be "official".)  Anything to do a little salvage on the evening.

So, sometimes we dads just screw it up, and then we hope we don’t do it so magnificently the next time.

Punch a Superman Sunday #2

Batman punches Superman.

Slighted Children's Literary Characters #2

Taking the next look at some of our favorite kid's books and the neglected characters within,
from Margaret Wise Brown's book Goodnight Moon, pictures by Clement Hurd:
Slighted Children's Literary Character:   The Little Bunny

This book gives plenty of attention to inanimate household objects like telephones, pictures, clocks, lights, chairs and so forth.  Random creatures in the house also get a shout out - mice, kittens, bears and cows.  Gigantic pieces of rock (i.e the moon) and bowls of mush (I won't even comment on why we are presented with mush instead of soup, or cereal or even a candy bar) are spoken to.   A creepy, hushing lady even gets her time in the book. 




But the guy who appears the most in the book is woefully neglected.   Our friend the little bunny appears on seven pages, but does he get a "good night little bunny?"  Not at all!  He is even overshadowed by "nobody" as readers are given a "Goodnight nobody" page for some odd reason.

So here's some recognition, Little Bunny!  The book would never have become a best seller without your strong action in the background, resting and wiggling and looking around and sleeping.

***Note:  The part of the Little Bunny was actually played by an adult dwarf rabbit named Mr. Alfred Hoppertop. 

Happy 41st birthday baby brother.

Happy birthday brother Tom!

The Boy Wonder!!

I ran across some pictures of Patrick dressed like Robin, the Boy Wonder for school!
Always some action at the Wrights!!

Parenting happens best on a Thursday: Tip #3

I'm a little late posting a parenting tip tonight as I spent the day, well,  parenting.  I was a Watchdog at Echo Lake Elementary School today.  If you are not familiar with WATCH D.O.G.S., check out the link.  It is a great program I have been participating in at my kids' school for several years.  There are currently ZERO men teachers at the school and this program attempts to have at least one man (dad, uncle, grandpa, etc.) at the school every day, and I believe Echo Lake has succeeded this year to date.  It is great to have a male influence there in the kids' lives.

I helped kids get out of their car as they arrived, went to PE, helped draw turtles in Art, was a lunch monitor for kindergarteners, got to work the Promethean board for a word game, saw Nicholas and Patrick practice for a play, files books at the library and had a ball high-fiving kids as they walked by and yelled "Hey Watchdog!"   Fathers, get involved!   Wow that could have been the tip of the day right there.  But, on to something else....

Tip #3:  Have dinner as a family, as often as you can, as long as you can.

I know lives get busy, but try to do this every day.  We have always made a point of doing dinner together.  It is a time for us to hear about everyone's day and just spend some time together.  I believe quantity time together is just as important as quality time together.  And there is food involved.  Nothing can go wrong with that!

Here are some random shots of the Wrights eating together.

 

 

Slighted Children's Literary Characters #1

There are approximately 5 billion children's books available in the world.  Well, I'm not really 100% positive on that number.  I googled it but without a good answer within the first few lines of google results, I did some quick math and came up with this very statistically valid number.

And within this vast multitude of books, there are also a vast multitude of characters.   Let's just take the average of 8.32 characters per children's book and you have 41.6 billion characters out there.  This number increases daily.  Now usually there are 1-3 main characters in a book.  You have figures like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, Max in Where in the Wild Things Are, Pat in Pat the Bunny, and Mike Mulligan in Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel.  All good guys, but they seem to monopolize the story.

What about the minor characters?  Those who showed up for work on time to appear in the story, but were shunted aside, names forgotten (if even given one), misidentified, stuck in the background - always slighted to give more screen time to the glory-hogging title characters.

Well, this is their time.   A time for them to shine.  A time for you to get their names correct!

First up, from L. Frank Baum's book The Wizard of Oz, illustrated by W.W Denslow:
Slighted Children's Literary Character:   The Good Witch of the North


I must say up front, to clear up all misunderstandings perpetrated by the delightful yet inaccurate 1939 movie, HER NAME IS NOT GLINDA.  I am sure she would thank me.

Her only major appearance happened near the beginning of Baum's first Oz book, The Wizard of Oz.  She met Dorothy right after Dorothy slew the Wicked Witch of the East with her farmhouse, advised her to go see the Wizard in the Emerald City and gave her a magical kiss of protection.  She did her best to advise and assist Dorothy; however, in one of the few pictures we see of the Good Witch of the North, that glory hound Dorothy stepped in front of the Good Witch's pose, ruining what would have a been a great publicity shot.

To make matters worse, MGM decided it was too confusing to have two good witches in their movie, so they combined the Good Witch of the North with Glinda, the Good Witch of the South, and thus we have one of the greatest slights in children's literature history.  So from then on, I imagine that every time the Good Witch of the North attended a magical convention or fairy dance or whatever good witches do and introduced herself, she had to put up with, "So your name is Glinda, right?" 

Say no to Glinda!

And she later received even less homage.  When a subsequent Oz author, Ruth Plumly Thompson, wrote her into a new Oz book entitled The Giant Horse of Oz, the Good Witch was first given the imbecilic name Tattypoo, and was later magically transformed into an entirely new character, effectively disposing of the Good Witch forever.

So there you have it.   Give the good old lady some respect.   She carried a wickedly good wand.

And put aside the Wizard of Oz movie dvd, sit down and actually read the book to your kids.  They, and Tattypoo <groan>, will thank you.

Reliving moments in time

For you River City dwellers, if you have not yet been to the Virginia Historical Society, make some time this week to mosey on over there and enjoy.  It's FREE! And it is an excellent place to spend a few hours.  Located at 428 North Boulevard, the building sits right beside the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts.

We spent a few hours there Saturday afternoon, sandwiched between lunch at Joe's Inn and ice cream at Boyer's Ice Cream.   Lisa and the boys had been there before with rave reviews, but this was my first time there.  Lisa had told Nicholas we would not hurry and he could read everything.  I wasn't sure what that meant until Lisa and Patrick had finished the entire building and I was still with Nicholas at the first exhibit, as he read each and every word in the entire building.  That is probably a slight exaggeration, but Nicholas was in his environment, thoroughly soaking up all the rich history displayed there.

There are currently two main exhibits.  One is "An American Turning Point: The Civil War in Virginia," a exhibition commemorating the 150th anniversary of the American Civil War, which is on display from February 4 to December 30, 2011.  The other is "The Story of Virginia, an American Experience" which showcases Virginia from as far back as you can get until the present.

Here are some of my favorite pics of the day.

Patrick outside the VA Historical Society.

What I learned about Virginia women.

I'm a sparkish gentlemen (fine and well-dressed).

I made Patrick wear the hat.

Nicholas read.

And Nicholas read.

And I made him stop reading to take this fabulously historic picture.

What Patrick and Lisa did while Nicholas read.

Lisa and a Richmond trolley.

And a Patrick shot.

A fun day!  I encourage anyone while in Richmond to spend some time here!

Punch a Superman Sunday #1



Captain Marvel punches Superman.



March madness

Everyone (well, some people) here in Richmond, VA is going wild since VCU has done well so far in the NCAA Tournament, exceeding expectations.  In honor of them, I post a special World's Finest Comics cover.   What better than Superman, Batman and Robin playing a game of basketball.


World's Finest Comics #21, released in April 1946.



Parenting happens best on a Thursday: Tip #2

I understand you parents have been counting down the days until Thursday to read this new parenting tip.  Well, the anticipation is over.  Thursday is here, all day long.  Have a Happy St. Patrick's Day.  If you are not wearing green right now, consider yourself pinched.  And a bit of St. Patty's Day trivia, pinching someone who is not wearing green is apparently only an American thing.  If you pinch someone in Ireland today, you'll probably get punched.  Take heed my warning. 

Now on to the main event.

Tip #2:  Sit together as a family in church.




Hmmm. That doesn't seem like much. And those of you who do not attend church are probably thinking you can mark this one off your list. But pay close attention (and get to church people!!!).

This has always been huge in the Wright household!!!! We have had our kids sit with us through the entire church service ever since they were teeny, tiny toddlers. We are not big fans of children's church.  We've always encouraged (please translate that to the appropriate word "made") our kids sit with us in church.  I think it does several things:

1.    Trains kids how to sit in church.   It is really only an hour or so.   A young child should be able to do this.  Period.   Sure, when they are really young, bring paper and crayons or whatever to help pass the time, but a kid needs to learn to sit quietly in a worship service without causing interruptions.

2.    Trains kids how to behave appropriately in church.  I watch some teenagers text or play games on their phones during the church service and I want to stand up, walk over and slap them on the back on the head.  Should you ever see any of my kids doing this, you have my permission now to do exactly that to them.  And then, when they appropriately turn the other cheek, slap that as well.  Children should act with respect in church, to those up front speaking or leading worship and more importantly with respect to God.

3.    Trains kids to listen to a pastor.    Sure they may not understand everything when they are age three, but they should get some of it.  And get more of it the older they get.   Always ask your kids what they heard or learned in church every week on the way home from church or over Sunday lunch.

4.    Shows kids that families do important things together.  Like worship.

5.    Allows us to worship together as a family.  I want my children to grow up worshipping God with me.  I want that memory to be burned into their minds.  And I want them to decide one day that they want their kids to worship with them as well.

This past Winter (yeh I am calling it Spring now), there was one Sunday when I was away and Lisa and Rachel were working in the nursery, so Patrick and Nicholas sat by themselves in church, up in the front where we always sit.    Lisa heard some comments about how well behaved they were and I thought, well why not?  They know how to act in church.   No one should act surprised when a kid sits through church paying attention and not causing a disruption.  That should be the norm, if we train our kids properly.

We occasionally let Daniel sit with his friends when he was a junior and senior in high school (again please translate that to the appropriate word "rarely").   Rachel as a sophomore this year has lately been sitting more with some of her friends than us and I am allowing it more, although I grumble slightly each time it happens.   Maybe I allow it more often just because I am getting older, but moreso I think it is because Lisa and I did train her well and she does act appropriately and show respect in church as a teenager.

Do I sound like a harsh or too demanding parent?  Hopefully not.  I just have some things that are very important to me as a dad and this is one of them.

So that's the tip of the week.  Sit together in church.  

Now go and enjoy the day.

Leprechauns and Amazons!

In anticipation of tomorrow, nothing says Happy St. Patrick's Day more than leprechauns and amazons!